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Sunday, March 15, 2009

I’m Just A Little Bit Caught In The Middle

Who’s ready for another totally exciting blog entry by me! Well, I’m pretending that everybody is just psyched and that the demand is very high and that Jack in no way threatened my life to writing this entry. Just kidding! It wasn’t my life that was threatened, it was my Nintendo Wii. No one messes with my Nintendo products! No one! But there really is a lot to talk about, so let us begin.

Nadya Suleman’s “AngelinaJolieitis”
By now nearly everyone has heard about the mother of fourteen children, Nadya Suleman. If you haven’t, just turn on the television or pick up a US Weekly and you’ll find her. It’s just such a sad situation, as far as the kids are concerned. How they’re going to get the proper care and attention is beyond me. Plus, she’s been doing so many interviews that she has gigantic fake fingernails. How is scissor-hands supposed to even hold her eight new children without cutting them? More importantly, let us take a moment and talk about her face. Her face has a condition in which I will call “AngelinaJolieitis” and I’m not so sure anyone with that condition should be having even one child, let alone fourteen. It’s very clear that she has had plastic surgery, although no one is sure how she was able to afford it. Rumor has it that she hasn’t worked since her first litter of six kids. Also under investigation is the doctor that allowed this to happen, who might even face criminal charges for it. I’d personally like to know more about the doctor because I find it hard to believe that just any doctor would do something this extreme. To help pay for her children, she has been offered a one million dollar deal to do a porno, so things are definitely looking up for her.

Rethink it, Rihanna
Chris Brown has allegedly beaten singer Rihanna during their relationship forcing both Chris and Rihanna to seek help. Then, Rihanna went back to him. Need I even say more? There are so many things wrong with this that it’s disgusting. The worst part is that some people feel the need to defend Chris. I’m convinced these people are lacking functional brain cells. First of all, why would you go back to someone that had been abusing you? Second, why would you even want to? I do not understand their thought process behind this one at all. I’m totally for forgiveness and stuff, but it’s statistically proven that if the person has abused you once, they will almost surely do it again. Unless that’s what you’re into, I guess. Maybe they’re just very sick people, and we can’t even begin to comprehend what they like. Even so, the bruises were pretty bad so they need to take it down a notch at least.

Britney’s Live Microphone
Don’t you hate it when you just get done singing a song in front of a huge crowd of people and they forget to mute your microphone? Wait, so Britney was singing with a live microphone? Since when did this start happening again! Make sure the kids are in bed for this one! I’ll even somewhat sensor it, but it’s still pretty grotesque. After singing a song during one of her first Circus tour concerts, Britney, apparently not realizing that her microphone wasn’t muted yet, was clearly heard saying, and I quote, “Hey, my p***y is hanging out.” It almost sounds like the Britney Spears we all once knew and loved is back! But I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Okay, you can wake the kids back up now! We’re done! That’s all for this fantastic entry! I hope that I have enlightened you in ways that you never even though possible! Until next time, everyone! Happy early Saint Patricks day!

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