Hi, Iowa’s Asphalt readers and guests who were misguided to this page! Let’s talk about finding professional jobs in Iowa, because it’s really hard. I’m not even looking IN Iowa for a job, and it’s still hard. I should probably move to Japan or something. I can’t wait to get my degree! I’m graduated, but I haven’t physically received it yet. It should be coming pretty soon, though. I’m anxious to see what a $55,000 piece of paper looks like. I’m also excited because I saw an old coworker of mine today that I hadn’t seen in ages! Let’s call her… “Fluffy”. All you need to know about her is that the gnomes that used to live in the cooler where we used to work now live on her roof. More important than reality, education, and roof gnomes, let’s get to our celebrity news!
Mel Gibson Gets Divorced
Mel and Robyn Gibson are calling it quits after twenty-eight years of marriage. Wow. Twenty-eight years is about the equivalent of six full-length marriages when it Hollywood is counting. Anyways, the divorce was filed under the common reason of irreconcilable differences. We’ve all heard that many times before, haven’t we? The most shocking part about this whole thing is that there was no prenuptial agreement or anything of that sort, as far as has been said. She’s entitled to half of what they own, which means she will be getting a check for about $500 million! One of the largest amounts in all of Hollywood divorce history! I think I could live off of that amount for about three lifetimes. Can you imagine your bank account having that many zeros behind a number? I mean, I’m used to zeros, don’t get me wrong, but with a number in front would be good for a change.
Lindsay Lohan Is Single Again
Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend Samantha Ronson have broken up after a year, which unlike the Mel Gibson story is pretty typical. We’ve been hearing about all of these fights supposedly going on and other crazy stuff like that, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before this would happen. They had been living together, and I’ve heard that the locks on Samantha’s house have already been changed. However, there is no restraining order or anything else freaky going on besides the lock thing. I really can’t form an opinion on this one. I’m actually quite speechless and neutral about it, because I quit caring for Lindsay after Freaky Friday and Samantha, well, always. Does anybody really actually care about these two anymore? They feel like dead news, and that’s exactly why I had to talk about it.
Octomom Trademarked
Some people just never know when to go away. However, I promised myself we’d leave Britney Spears out of this issue of my amazing blog, so I traded one crazy for another. Nadya Suleman, the one with 14 kids because that name is just so common, wants to trademark her name. Guess what she wants to use it for! Future television projects, as well as diapers, and children’s wear. Because when I have kids (which will be never if I can help it), I’ll totally want the Octomom brand which was founded out of disbelief that someone not working and living in a small, crowded could be having fourteen children. Totally someone I’d want to support, an irresponsible person. Actually, I could see this picking up steam out of pity for the children. You can’t help but to feel bad for them because of who their mother is and what she’s doing. By the way, she already wants more kids. Just so you know!
Alright! Another terrific blog brought to a close. And we didn’t even talk about Britney Spears. Almost feels like we’re missing something because of it. Be sure to drink your mineral water and fried chicken. Until next time, everybody!
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